Monthly Archives: September 2019

MISTER MANNERS

HAVE A SEAT RIGHT THERE ON THE PIN CUSHION OR THE BARREL CACTUS. OH SURE–THE DIAMOND BACK RATTLER FRIENDLY BEAST NOW DOWN TO BUSYNESS, MR. MANNERS. SIR YOU ARE AWARE NO DOUTBT WHEN AHA, MISS OR REALLY MRS. MANNERS HAS LODGED A COMPLAINT IN WRITING AND THAT REQUIRES JUDICIAL REVIEW UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU BUT HOLD ON DON’T CRY AND JUE, WE’VE GOT TO HAVE CERTAIN ANSWERS REGARDING CRUEL ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS TOWARD YOUR MODEL WIFE AND HER BEAUTIFULLY MAINTAINED AND GROOMED RANCHERJUST OUT–SIDE PEORIA, ILLINOIS, WE’RE SO SORRY IT’S COME TO THIS. YOU WON’T BE ON OPRAH…EVER!

TRUST IN THUNDER BIRD, MANNERS

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

LAPSED

YOUR PERMIT EXPIRED

IMPLICATION?

SEE THE FULL TEXT.

MICRO FOOTNOTE PRINT

YOU MAY NEED

A MAGNIFYING GLASS.

PLEASE REFRAIN READIN IN BRIGHT SUN

SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION

ANOTHER LEGAL VIOLATION.

TAKE CARE TO BE IN COMPLIANCE

THE CODE IS QUITE EXPLICIT

IF YOU NEED ASSISTANCE

CALL THE TOLL FREE NUMBER

BE FOREWARNED PENALTIES APPLY

FEES MAY DOUBLE & TREBLE

IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

TO ACT AS A MODEL CITIZEN

AND REGISTER TO BREATHE

DEAD ZONE

MANY

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

BLUE NOSE BOTTLE FISH

EDGEWISE SAW HORSE

FLATULENT SPATULA DOG

FERTILE CRESCENT TOUCAN

NOXIOUS SAWDUST WORMS

FAT LIPPED SALAMANDER MIMIC

TOAD HEADED JONQUIL

NOTORIOUS NETTLE PINE

RED SPOTTED ARMADILLO FLY

COURTLY UNGUENT FOSSIL CATCHER

CROSS-LEGGED TORTOISE CRUNCHER

NOT TO MENTION SQUISH WARTSA

AND WHEN-IN-ROME CEILING RATS

PLUS THE CARRY ON LUGGAGE BLACK LUNG FISH

ALL, THANKFULLY, ON THE ENDANGERED LIST!

A SQUISHY MESS

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

TODAY AS USUAL–

I’M HERE

QUITE CERTAIN–

IT’S ME!

NO IMPOSTER.

I REMEMBER MY LIST.

I CAN FIND MY SHOES.

THIS PEN, THIS PAPER.

SAY HELLO, MR. PEN!

HELLO, THE WISE GUY SAYS.

POLYGLOT, RAMBLING TROUBADOUR,

NO TELLING WHERE HE SLEPT LAST NIGHT.

BUT ON WE GO WITH INTRODUCTIONS

OUR FAVORITE PANTS & SHIRT

AH, WALKING BIPEDALLY

YES, THE WHOLE PACKAGE,

LIT UP & IN “ON” MODE

I MIGHT BE A ROBOT

BUT MY FLESHY PARTS

SUGGEST OTHERWISE

AS MY NOSE SNIFFS FRESH COFFEE–

ADIEU!

WHO AM I?

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

BING BANG BONG

I’VE GOT YOUR NUMBER

SPLENETIC OP-EDITOR

DISPOSED TO HATE

ANGER YOUR MEAT

FEAR A GUT TUMOR

YOU HIKE UP YOUR PANTS

UPON ENTERING THE TEMPLE

YOUR SHOES SHINE

YOU BOW IN THE PASSAGE

FLICK HOLY WATER

ON YELLOW MANUSCRIPTS

AT THE CURB IDLING

YOUR LIMO DRIPS A/C WATER

FROSTY INTERIOR

WITH STRINGS AND MUTED HORNS

ALL LEATHER & TURKISH RUGS

YOUR FLYING CARPET

THE GENIE IS OUT

OF HIS BLUE GLASS BOTTLE

HIS BALD HEAD BENT IN PRAYER

JUST ONE MORE SUCCESS HE WHISPERS

ONE MORE TINY MIRACLE–

Jim Stallings: ONE MORE TINY MIRACLE!

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

WHO SAID NOTHING CHANGES?

LOOK AT ME, LOOK!

THE HAIR WHITE

MY BONES SHINING

THAT APPLE ON MY HEAD–

WILLIAM DARE TELL–

I’M NO VICTIM

NO TARGET PRACTICE

FOR ARROGANT LORDS,

ENTERTAINMENT FOR FINE LADIES.

NO, I DEFY THE RULES,

THE AVERAGES, THE LUCK OF THE DRAW–

TWIN BOW STRINGS WOVEN

FROM GOLDEN ELK GUT,

NONEXISTENT STUFF–

WE ARE NOT IMPRESSED–

OFFAL AND ROTTEN POTATOES

APPPLES OF THE EARTH

BE YOUR BREAKFAST

AS FOR ME, AVENGER,

I AM FREE:

NO BULL’S EYE FOR THEE…

THE OLDE MAN’S APPLES

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

HONORABLE MEN KNEEL

AND PRAY FOR THE END OF WAR

SCOUNDRELS DREAM OF FAME.

BABBLETY BOO HOO

HERE’S TO YOUR MIGHTY THRONE

JESTER TRICKS FOR YOU.

EXPOSED ON THE HILL

WE SAW ALL THAT HE WASN’T

AND WE HUNG OUR HEADS.

ENGAGED IN WHAT BIZ!

NEVER IN A THOUSAND YEARS!

INNOCENCE PREVAILS

TIS ME NATURE, YES,

OLD MAN WITHOUT TEETH MUMBLED:

GIMME ME BREAKFAST.

AND GUESS WHO IS HERE?

WHY THE FACE IN THE MIRROR.

ENOUGH OF HORROR!

SILLY MAN LOOK OUT,

DANGER LIES AROUND THE BEND,

HE SMILES LIKE HE KNOWS TRUTH.

PICK UP THE BRUSH NOW,

DIP THE HAIRS IN THE INKWELL,

APPLY TO THE BLANK PAGE.

MONARCHS ON THE WIND,

FLUTTEIRNG SOUTH THRU OUR YARD,

KINGS OF THE TOASTED AIR.

TURN ON THE LIGHT, BABIES,

I HEAR SOMETHING SCUFFLIN’ ROUND

BIG OLD UGLY THINGS.

OH, THERE’S TIME ENOUGH

FOR FOOLISH PRANCING ANON

ON THE COMMON GREEN.

ARE THOSE SKIES GRAY NOW?

MY EYES BLUR WITH HIDDEN GLARE

NO ESCAPE FROM BLINDING SUN.

WAS THIS THE END THEN?

RUNNING AWAY LIKE A RAT,

EYES BRIGHT IN HIS SKULL.

THIS BOND IN COMMON

THE SQUARE WE CROSS THROUGHT THE YEARS,

FOOT PRINTS THAT MATCH ALL OUR ERRORS.

THE LOST FROZEN HOPES

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized